I woke up today coughing like a chilled cow. As if not enough, just now a dirty little bat has surpassed the first home-made defense line (actually the balcony) and in through the hall’s door. Nevertheless, in the dumbest moment of his whole existence, he rebounds thrice against a wall before falling into a pack of bread over the table. And this wretch even showed me his tongue in an ancient ritual of defiance.
Fearing the potential hydrophobia, Kamikaze Cheese armed himself with a 2.5-liter Coke bottle and I bravely went down the balcony and into my bedroom, leaped through the window and armored myself with a raincoat, jeans, a t-shirt involving my head as well as socks around my hands. I returned to the hall and for our big surprise, the little bastard had disappeared inside the bread’s pack.
Either coincidence or not, I’ve got a poster on my locker’s door (thanks Tanya, my girlfriend - by the way, the poster is pretty educative). It’s written that we should not touch the animal. Furthermore, it says the %¨@&!@*## might be ill and pass over much more diseases than could predict our vain philosophy. “Damn these tropical fruits…”, mutters Kamikaze Cheese in a fraction of wrath.
In this moment, while I type this post I am able to hear the trill of a teenager flying rodent while Kamikaze Cheese rummages the entire house, wielding his deadly 2.5-liter bottle (it’s the Special Edition). We have not found the mangie yet. But soon we will do it and then we shall understand how they think. “We must only interrogate him correctly”, Kamikaze Cheese adds.
…
… AND IT’S GODAMN HOT IN THIS RAINCOAT! …
(25 minutes after)
Mission accomplished! The son-of-an-itch has been caught and sent to a new home. The trash chute. Rightly after we had found out that the limp-wristed was between the table and a pizza box. I swiftly clad myself once more and folded the table’s towel to prevent a possible escape. While I carried away the towel, the bastard, as a token of insurgence, pissed through the towel and all over the hall’s floor. We sacked the towel up and left the annoyance outside. Now, there are three things still unanswered:
1) How to decontaminate the hall? Quarantine?
2) Why are there several bats yelling outside now? Would it be an elegy to the captured colleague?
3) How will we retrieve the house’s key that was left along with the bat?
Fear of rabidity? No. Fear of pinpricks? YES.